Loving the Ordinary
Every time I meet someone extraordinary, and they tell me wonderful stories of all their accomplishments, I wonder if they ever have a downside amidst it all, something they’re really bad at, or are they built the perfect way?
Perfect humans don’t interest me. Flawed ordinary people are what I look for, because firstly, perfect people don’t exist. And even if they do, they’d be boring as hell. I like the ones with scars, the ones that remind me to celebrate us, the perfectly imperfect ones.
Jotting down personal stuff isn’t my thing, but my self-esteem seems to be in a pretty good state when I document my evolution of thoughts. It's an easy way for your readers to get to know you better too. Not that everyone is bound to hear from me, they can happily leave while the ones who connect to what I feel will always stick around. Such company is comfort for me, and stories in there are always bliss.
I hate attending weddings. Every time I go attend one, I have a bad day. Every time I watch the newly-wed and their families, even extended ones, all rejoicing the happy moments and making memories hopefully, I don’t reciprocate but feel a little sad. No, it's not because I’m jealous of their smiles and laughter, but because I am constantly reminded of how less people do I have to call my own.
Hailing from a nuclear and having stayed abroad for many years, my ties with my relatives are pretty nil. Though my father comes from a pretty reputed family, my heart doesn’t feel the connection. Meeting them just for weddings and funerals doesn’t make anything stronger, do they? And this bothered me every time.
Not having people around sucks. You are in a constant struggle to do everything yourself against all shit that comes your way with none to back it up in case you fall. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. But, at some point in our lives, we need people to feel safe and comfortable, to help us make choices when our mind is unclear. It somehow boosts our confidence, just the fact that they exist somewhere.
But I am at fault too. I tend to look at things I lack instead of finding solace in what I have been blessed with.
A few weeks ago, I attended a friend’s marriage. My presence meant so much to her, and hence I couldn’t nod a no. I met her family; things went pretty well. When I got back to hostel after the event, I was exhausted. Though I am not one who shares personal emotions with anyone, my roommate sensed something bothered me and came to have a chat. With a heavy heart, I told her I don’t have a big fat family like everybody else. I shared my worst fear. Fear of not being loved. Fear of not having enough memories with cousins to cherish forever. Fear of having an empty wedding hall look back at me when I get married, with no people I can call mine.
Her reply was comforting, ‘Nihla, hear me out. I come from a reputed family and I have a hell lot of relatives. Trust me, when you fall off, you’ll not see all of them, just two or three of them who genuinely care for you. Now, what about the rest? They’re mere spectators of our life. Nihla, you’re blessed immensely, you need to know you have such loving parents who you love equally back too. And, you have friends too, the ones that matter. What else!?’
She was right.
So, what if my wedding hall looks empty? What if I don’t have cousins and relatives to click lots of pictures and pamper me with everything from love to gifts on my special day? I’ll still be happy knowing that even if the world turns against me, I’ve got a not-so-perfect small family by my side, wanting nothing but the best for me.
I wasn’t brought up in a traditional Indian household, and I have nothing in me as a typical family girl. I can’t find words to attract people, and I can’t relate to many in my hometown. I mostly feel left out at family events, like the odd one out. Neither am I aware of traditions and responsibilities in this place nor am I great at adulting stuff like throwing pearls of wisdom at people coming my way. I am me, just the very ordinary me.
I feel myself when I am with my friends, when I am in my comfort zone, and when I can relate to them. I love to be surrounded by people, wherein I melt into them and make them comfortable. That’s my superpower! I have flaws too, in fact, many of them, but my close friends are aware of them and that makes me feel at peace with them.
I feel confidence rising in me when I know I’m loved! When I know I’ve got friends around!
Every time I write something personal, I want people to gain something as they read, but I am letting that go, for I’m ordinary and so is this piece of writing. But if I had to tell you one thing, it’ll be this — Unless you are born into privilege pro max, good things take time.
Relationships take time and effort. Anything good demands some investment.
While talking with a friend I recently met, I was saying how important money is required to maintain relationships these days. And his reply was thoughtful, ‘then make more money!’.
Photo of the Day
Sometimes when Her Highness Nihla feels a little low or gets hurt after a fall she likes to pose for photos and feel like a million bucks! 😙
That’s it, the blog. Now let me shut down for today, and thanks for sticking by!